Into the dark and lonely

I’m about to enter inside now. The endless darkness is going to consume me all over again as the world crashes down behind the doors . The sole purpose to invade this mysterious space everytime is to decipher the enigma of chaos created overtime. Past encounters have been kind of a let down , after all there ain’t any method to ensure an infallible outcome. They say only an englightened few souls have mastered the way through it ,and rest all others are struggling all their lives to create a conducive environment within.

The deceptive illusions are the real monsters that intrude from nowhere in the dark and you fall prey to their splendour visuals , leaving you defeated in your own territory. And the poor you are left helpless with no soul present at your rescue.

Going unprepared seems unwise, so I gear up and take my positon, a few deep breaths and I rush into the dark with the doors closed behind.

It’s absolute dark in here, the darkness is spread over the entirety of the space contained within these thin walls which you are familiar with, but still delusive enough to fathom the depth of the space. I couldn’t stop but embrace its beauty and the fact that I completely own it.

Even before I could realize time measured a change , I notice something happening. The darkness is suddenly fading away and I see fear turn into reality.

I see myself sitting on a bed ,  it looks familiar . Ahh! its my delhi room , I’m probably on this same mission. Terribly tiny tales filled on hallway wall. Road leading towards the metro. I’m travelling in the metro. We are sitting in a cafe, she is looking down hiding her face from me and its dark outside the windows. Tall building , powai lake in front from a sky view, its raining ,me at the balcony , music being played, book in my hand – Curfewed Nights , Kashmir man white face pointed nose. Have to  travel to Wagoora to meet Amir Wani ,trapped inside powergrid substation boundaries since things are out of control outside, he tells me a story never heard before. India map turned into terrain map, green patches and mountains. China, now its a world map, russia and a big chunk of land, a long strip of land southeast , Bali trip, on scooty tall trees on both side ,fancy clothes. The experiment of desire. Eleven Minutes. Bigbooks. Parcel placed over the newspaper,govt, current affairs. Pick up mobile, whatsapp – CR broadcast, morning shift ,medu vada before catching the bus , office control room , grid , pmu plot analysis ,oscillations, paper publish, US. Travelling the world with her, she’s beautifull, her dress , smiling at me when mummy is feeding me with her hands at home. And I finally realize its too late now the battle is long lost.

I open the doors and make way for light to guide my vision. Its an another easy defeat, this poor mind will never keep calm, its constantly restless as a willow in a windstorm. This wild creature has no boundaries and certainly can’t be tamed to silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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