Stampede – A way not to die .

“Next station Parel , Agla station Parel, Pudhil station Parel ” , I tap on the video , 04:56 / 07:38 mins. I usually hate to end Kenny’s video midway, but the rush behind me warns me to prepare for leaving the door as the train seems to approach the station. I pause the video, press the lock button with my right thumb and place it in my pocket. I tap the shoulder in front, “Bhai Sahab agla station utarne vale hai na ? ”  He confirms with a nod behind his back.

As the train descends to stop on the platform, I get down in motion of the train, balancing myself with few steps before I stop. I turn around to reach out at the foot over bridge amidst the crowd which just dropped off along with me and a few waiting eagerly for their train. As I climb upstairs, I hear water hammering over the roof of the bridge heavily. I see faces chatter around as many were unprepared today for this unanticipated rain. Although mummy told me to carry my  umbrella even today, it meant to be more of an unnecessary burden to carry in my bag after all the receding rains for the season stopped almost a week ago. As I approach the downstairs towards the exit, I see people hovering at the end steps waiting for the spill to end. I’m able to  see some water accumulated on the ground over their heads. I take a few steps till I reach the human blockade created over the steps and stand along a corner.

It didn’t feel like cursing the rain today, deep down it was at least something happening amidst this mundane journey to work. I try to enjoy the leisure time for a while before I start worrying about being late to the office. I quickly lost myself reminiscing about some rainy incidents and noticing some faces around me, meanwhile the crowd seems to have gathered behind me and I could see people getting filled up over the steps to the length of my sight. I could realize probably the people who were even equipped with umbrellas also being stuck to make their way to the exit. Although some time pertinent individuals were hustling their way by each step through the crowd which almost looked like some snakes seeping under the patch of still grass. And probably as the stacks re-adjust themselves to fill up the voids , the push and noises begin to insinuate the inadequacy of the space.

As the thrust and squeeze surges to inconvenience, an anger arises within to make efforts for withstanding the force, with the expectation from people to act little sensible now. As forces seems to paramount the strength of the feet to hold ground, fear charges in to make my instincts warn for an unprecedented danger. As my voice turns behind to shout at this inessential idiocy from the crowd. The weight stormed upon me leaving me uprooted of my feet as I stumble upon the stairs with the chain of falling human dominoes and get dragged over the heap of people down the stairs. While the fall had its moment fear was invaded by a bit of embarrassment as my pride went for a hit. But by the time I find my body stuck against the stumbled bodies on the stairs an excruciating pain arise in the chest with the masses of flesh constantly slapped upon. I felt my body dead locked under the weight of bodies below my neck, unable to move even an inch for a while and my neck badly twisted towards my shoulder. Luckily the head lying over some limb saved me from some real damage against the floor. Now anger rebounds within at my fate after the sense of realization of this mishap. The site turned into a disaster as these mad mob were trying to escape over the bodies before they tumble upon us which pretty much looked like the herd of deers turned wild as their death springs out of the water to attack. And before the body could think to regain its strength to make a moment to bring itself in a position to breathe. A foot step falls straight upon my face . This hard hit to the face blows away my consciousness for a moment before I could comprehend the reality. Resentment kicks in with this feeling of disguise to see myself end up at such indignified state of life, the life which always valued the very nature of care and compassion . A state of despise emerged for the entire humankind and this body form felt like a disgrace to carry.  It shattered the entire institution built around the belief of being a human  after witnessing how animal a human can turn into.  And another hit comes hard at me cracking my neck bone, tears roll down the eyes in the form of absolute grief to live for such experience. The body lied numb in vegetative state deprived of the very soul just like a carcass rotting out in the open.The sight soon turned dark as a body slams upon my face which buried me completely, resembling the last dirt thrown on my grave. Air becomes heavier and sloppy to snuggle through my windpipe to the lungs and the wait turns into an interminable eternity.

The act of stampede characterises weakness and submissive standard of living which discloses a larger harsh reality.  And a quote rightly put to ponder upon –  “What use is our anger if it’s only at the way we die – not at the way we live ” .

 

 

 

 

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Oh Tears!!!

I call out for you to be my guest tonight.

 

Hi Tears !

Nice to meet you. Look at you, haven’t changed a bit since my knowledge of you. Might sound a little quirky, but I happen to call you today for no reason. Yeah and I’m completely sober and sane if you have such doubts now, and I don’t wish to demean the very purpose you serve. I know you have many more reasons to appear, but today it’s just you. I have vague memories of you associated with my childhood although the recent ones have been registered well. I suppose your occurrence has reduced with time, not that the reasons are falling short, it’s just that I have learned to hold you on for few. It’s always something else that occupies my mind and heart when I sought solace in you, but today let’s just talk about you. I fear I ever gave a sound thought about you all these years and I must admit I barely know you for real, how is it to be you? I mean all that enormous amount of human emotions you hold in that tiny little drop. I couldn’t possibly fathom the gravity of such measure you could carry within you with my inept mind. I’m just aware of the ones you shared with me, what about the billion others I’m oblivious to. What is it like to experience those countless short-lived journey of yours on billions of faces that you come across ? I mean a lifetime wouldn’t suffice to explore your treasure of life experiences. And I could imagine how rich your treasure chest would be as the stories collected over these years would be no ordinary ones. I mean tell me how intense would be those emotions,  on the face of that Survivor who opened his eyes to witness the devastating site of bloodshed after the attack, to be on her face while she couldn’t fight anymore against those monsters holding her against the ground, giving her pain. On that poor schizophrenic who is struggling hard for life to understand what is real. To be rolling on his face who’s unable to make her realize how it feels like dying inside.You equally stand for the better and beautiful side of emotions too like the one on the faces of those parents to see their new-born child after trying for long. On that artist for the love bestowed on him by the millions cheering for him, on this old proud face who retired from work today after serving his duty for years with sincerity. In those spiritual moments of  ecstasy and joy when they understand the philosophy of human misery. Your indifferent nature towards joy and sorrow reflects your egalitarian trails too. How different does it feel to look on whom you appear ? Like how big and strong where the emotions when the Mahatma shed one or even the mighty Hitler for that matter and how small where they when the kid along the roadside shed few out of hunger. According to Hindu legend, even Lord Shiva couldn’t hold on to his strong feelings, the single tear from his eyes fell on the earth to grow into a Rudraksha tree. It’s unreal to empathize your strength to hold such emotions in all these cases. I fancy about your different pathways over the faces once you drop out of the eyes and finally disappear for eternity. Like the ones emerging from the edges and running along the sidelines and finally getting soaked into our pillows, or the ones running along the cheeks till you drain off over the tip of the chin. Sometimes getting wiped off by hands before reaching the lips while traveling along the nose line , some odd little times you get to reach over the lips but you kind of taste a bit salty over the tongue. It’s better you don’t leave back visible stains on our faces , or else every life would have been an open-book to read. I wish you could be collected and preserved to revisit the emotions you hold on for. I wish you were vocal to we people to make us realise what’s really going on within.

Tears waited all this long quietly holding on to my eyelids to hear me and finally rolled away from my eyes like it always does.