UP FOR SALE! since 1992

The search to find the right bearer to my heart has always been an impervious task and seems no end in near possible future. And how the idea of love simply makes you feel desperate to sell your heart. Although preposterous as it sounds , your heart feels like a debt which you don’t want to hold for too long when it seems there are no takers for your heart in the market. It feels like to be that disappointing vendor who returns home at the end of the day tired and disheartened after all his tricks and trades have failed again today , adding one more day of failure to infinity and how it suddenly feels like a burden in the chest to carry it back home and wake up to the sunrise with the same purpose. Probably I’m not selling it right , probably I’m unaware of if its real worth or may be I’m trying to sell it to the wrong people.

Yet another day at work, standing in front of the exchange building staring at the big display hoping for some magic today. Amidst all the chaotic movement of the people in the market, all worried about their investments, I stand silent at one corner contemplating my inadequate efforts and reminisce about this journey so far. To my knowledge , this heart has been trading in the market of love since 1992. Like any other market ,nobody likes to incur loss in their investment. Especially , Indian market is known for highly emotional approach with conservative investment and less risk taking.

The IPO for this stock came in July,1992 issued by “Parent ” company with a ‘cute’ face value . The stock was an instant hit, with its value shooting sky-high showing immense potential popularly among a specific investor group called “family”. As the stock was prominently in childcare sector which is always an attractive sector for long-term investors with the horizon of 20-30 years expecting strong and stable returns later to support them in old times . As the stock grew a year or two old , investment showed steady growth among relatives/friends as the stock went playful showing initial traits of a successful run. Then as the stock shifted its focus to the primary education sector , investments from the teaching group grew and during this period all the fundamentals of the stock had to be built for the prospective future investors to buy in the stock and raise its value. This learning cycle of the stock had its value determined entirely on the basis of pure merit .All the tedious homework and practices were put to test on regular intervals . And the success achieved at every examination did built a strong trust among the investors. During the adolescent period of the stock , a few novice investors came in probably due to common interests and ambitions, as these similarities make you feel relatable with the behaviour of the stock. And some of them have still kept invested in me after all these years and in all likelihood will still remain investors in future. And then the world happened, were the stock found the most volatility in its value in such a short period of 4-5 years . With sudden exposure to such a large of base of foreign investors who had no freaking idea in my making , and in the constant pressure to keep up to their demands, the stock lost its ground somewhere in this. The stock did see its all time high and all time low values in the same period under the influence of a single investor which never projects the real value of the stock, but it was certainly oblivious to the naked eye in the ocean of false expectations. I felt almost sold out to the right one and would never had to trade again in the market. And the illusionary paradise soon turned into in this cruel turbulent sea of realisation which left me drown along with my ship of hope. And as they say the help comes at the right time in the least expected ways , some fellow sailors helped me overcome with my despair.

Now, the heart seems less vulnerable, and every bruises and scars holds a story which made it stronger each time, probably its value too might be not that attractive to many in the market, but it will find the right investor who would discover the rich possibilities of growth and yield all the benefits of love.

And finally as the day-dream burst into reality , my stock appears on the display . A smile drives along my face to see a small jump in its value after feeling a bit closer to my heart today.

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​If I were you !!

So when does this battle begin ? It happens everyday, in every little instance. In all likelihood they’ll always stand to differ

He accompanies me while on my way to work and back home generally, fortunately he is free all the time and me on the other side simply occupied with my routines and other stuffs. It’s usually the same journey which follows everyday until one fine day it changed forever. Here’s how our journey began as we step out from my house that day –

Episode 1: We arrive at the auto-stand to reach the railway station .While waiting for an auto to arrive, He points me to this guy waiting behind me in the queue, looking at his watch every second impatiently, might be late for some real important assignment. He hints me to make a move upfront to help the poor guy skip the queue to save him some time there. But I somehow fail to gather enough courage to ask and I quietly slide into the auto as it arrives.

Episode 2: We rush to the railway platform since I’m bit late today. He distracts my sight towards this penurious lady sitting  with her infant in her lap near the walls of the platform, might be in need for some food to feed her child. He gives this look as if I probably know what he might say now but I disgracefully look down and make my way with the crowd as soon as the train enters the platform.

Episode 3: We catch our bus en route, today it’s quite crowded and I’m fortunate enough to enjoy this window seat. And suddenly he turns my head towards this stranger who is profusely sweating and exhausted as if he just ran a marathon to catch this bus, looks like he might need my seat more than me for now. But I simply turn my head back again through the window pane.

Episode 4: We get down at our bus stop and start walking towards our office premises along the footpath. He calls for my attention towards a skinny guy struggling to pull the loaded cart behind him on road . I carry this sympathetic look and simply enter the gates of my office.

Episode 5 : After a hectic day, we friends were enjoying ice-creams along the roadside. He asks me to notice the poor kid walking away disappointed, looks like he just fell short of few more coins to buy an ice cream for himself. I just stand and act like a spectator there.

Episode 6: While walking towards our building stairs, I usually avoid looking at this particular balcony. I know I will find this old little man sitting on his chair carrying that same old impassive look for years since I remember. I always struggle to make a comfortable gesture to him. Pretty well acquainted with this shortcoming he still provokes me by purpose. I accept my defeat and walk straight towards the stairs.

Disturbed with all the incidences he tried to indulge me into today. I make him stand in front of me and question his intent behind this play. His witty smile further gets me annoyed and furious. He softly utters “If I were you, it wouldn’t have been the same for you as well as for few others today,dear friend”. I just collapse down to my knees in tears because he was none other than myself in front of me. I was equally petrified with the one residing within me the whole time.  And there I finally discovered these two identities confronting each others.

Sometimes you need to lose some mind to win some heart.”